Missing Chinese New Year

Fire crackers, red packets, new clothes... These are often part of the lyrics found in Chinese New Year songs. Regretfully, I was tired of hearing these songs for a time in my life, thinking they were too backward, too "Chinese". It was not "cool" to be too Chinese back then (when I was growing up). I was even too shy to mention I spoke a Chinese dialect - Hakka - at home! What? Not even Mandarin, but a dialect? I was afraid people would know my parents did not have much of a formal education.

Anyway, back to Chinese New Year! Now that I have not been able to travel home for Chinese New Year for years, because I have chosen to live in the so-un-Chinese United States, the uncool Chinese New Year songs are all I listen to, in the car, when this festive season approaches. They bring back such warm (not always good) memories of Chinese New Year I celebrated in Singapore. Now, I tell my 4-year-old how cool Chinese New Year is. He is a chatter-box, and feels it his duty to pass on any information learned from me. I heard him telling his father the other day, "Daddy, I want to go to Singapore for Chinese New Year! Then we can eat tidbits with friends all day, and talk nonsense all day!"

Yes, I do miss eating tidbits and talking nonsense all day, which I remember I thought boring one point during my foolish youth! I remember with some sadness certain years when we did not have enough money to buy new clothes. I remember feeling ashamed to put on the only new dress my mom bought me, from the market in the neighborhood (nobody bought clothes there - they were cheap, and mass-produced). I was hiding at home, looking out the window occasionally to see if any kid got on the same dress as me! I was big on being "original" then! I did not want to be caught wearing something someone else had on!

When we got older, and life got better, the dishes on the reunion dinner table got more, and "meatier". We would have fish, chicken, duck, and shrimp dishes all at the same time! My mom's jumbo shrimp dish was my favorite! We used to only be able to afford sodas during Chinese New Year! The orange soda was the popular drink during this festive season. Now, when I drink an orange soda, it reminds me of Chinese New Year. Sometimes, I even seem to be able to savour the taste of peanuts, or melon seeds (瓜子） mingled with orange soda in my mouth!

My mom and dad are getting old. I dare not ask for much, but I long to spend just one more Chinese New Year with them! I want to absorb as much of the Chinese tradition I left behind, and pass it on to my kids! I want them to learn how cool it is, to be Chinese (and American^.^)!