Flying Little

The plane was full! Her baby was very tired, but she struggled to stay awake! How could a little baby know how to resist the natural instinct to sleep? All right. She was not that little. She was already 7 months old. Still, why would she not go to sleep when she was tired? She should not have a clue about what she would miss out on, if she fell asleep. She watched her baby's mouth open, and the dreaded screaming began! That was the scream of fatigue! She looked around at the other passengers warily! They hated her, or they would, after the flight, she thought.

She held the baby close, spoke to her sternly in Vietnamese, and started to rock her vigorously! That was the only way she would go to sleep. She sang to her a Vietnamese lullaby, over and over again, till the crying ceased, and the tiny body relaxed. Her body relaxed too, and she started to feel her arms aching. Gently, her heart thumping, she put her baby down on her seat. The baby did not stir. She heaved a sigh of relief, and sat on the floor beside the baby. She could rest for a little, till the tiny being woke from her sweet slumber.

Little Shea's Backyard Adventures (7)

Shea's mom was surprised how eager he was to get out of bed. She helped him wash up, and put on his play clothes. Shea wanted to skip breakfast, but Mom would not hear of it. She made him sit at the table, and finish up his milk and waffle. She was amazed that Shea could actually eat fast. He usually ate so slowly she had nicknamed him "Pokey"!

Anyway, he was out the kitchen door, and into the backyard, as soon as Mom had helped him wash his sticky hands. He looked round the backyard eagerly for Ming Ming.

"Sheng! Over here!" Shea followed the sound of Ming Ming's voice, and found himself looking up the Oak tree in the middle of the yard. He squinted his eyes to search of Ming Ming among the leaves. There he was, perched on a branch, and sucking on the stem of a flower!

"What are you doing up there?" asked Ming Ming.

"Thinking," answered Ming Ming.

"About what?" Shea was curious.

"About what we're going to do today!" said Ming Ming.

Suddenly, Ming Ming sailed down from the tree on a leaf! Shea caught the leaf, and looked into Ming Ming's face.

Little Shea's Backyard Adventures (6)

Little Shea opened his sleepy eyes. He had heard tapping on his window. He looked over at his window, and was surprised to see Ming Ming perched on the ledge outside! Ming Ming waved at Shea, with a huge grin on his face.

Shea got out of bed in a hurry, and went to the window, "What are you doing here?" he asked through the window.

Ming Ming laughed, and said, "It's a beautiful day! Don't you want to come out and play?"

"Sure! But I have to wash up, get dressed, and eat breakfast, you know?" Shea said anxiously.

"I know! I know! Hurry up then!" Ming Ming said, and started to climb down the window.

Shea pressed his face against the window pane, trying to watch Ming Ming climbing down the wall. Ming Ming must have suction cups on his palms and feet! He did not have any trouble grabbing on to the walls. Shea was sure there were no footholds on the walls!

He scratched head in puzzlement, and rushed into the bathroom, to begin washing up.

Little Shea's Backyard Adventures (5)

They passed the high school, and flew further on. Sometimes, Shea recognised where they were, sometimes he did not. He saw a few restaurants at which he thought he had eaten. He was very excited when he saw the ice-cream place he liked. He pointed it out to Ming Ming, and described to him all the flavors offered there.

"Do you like ice-cream?" Shea asked Ming Ming.

"I don't know. Never tasted it!" answered Ming Ming.

Shea could not believe anyone not having tried ice-cream, "What? You never ate ice-cream?"

"Well, I'm not like you, you know! I don't really have to eat!" explained Ming MIng.

"Don't have to eat? But you ARE alive, aren't you?" asked Ming Ming, his eyes opened wide.

"Yeah...I'm kind of alive, but different from you. I'm a fairy, you know!" Ming Ming answered, scratching his head, hoping Shea would not ask him any more questions.

"O.K.! Shea said, "When I'm bigger, I'll know!"

That was Shea's answer to everything these days. Whatever he could not do, or did not want to do, or could not figure out, he thought he would be able to do so when he was bigger! In his little heart though, he decided he would sneak some Bluebell ice-cream into the yard, and let Ming Ming "have a try" (in Shea's language) one day. Mommy always had some ice-cream in the freezer, and Daddy always said Bluebell ice-cream was the tastiest. So, Ming Ming would have some Bluebell ice-cream, and realise what he had been missing!

Suddenly, the wind became stronger. They flew faster! Shea could taste salt in the air! They were at the beach! He could see tiny surfers riding the waves. There were people on the beach too. The beach umbrellas looked like tiny mushrooms dotting the beach. Shea was afraid of the waves whenever Mommy and Daddy took him to the beach. He liked to build sand-castles on the beach, but did not like to go in the water. Daddy wished Shea would like the water better. He would like to teach him how to surf when he got a little bigger.

"Enough flying for the day?" asked Ming Ming.

Shea was beginning to miss Mommy a little, and said, "Ah-huh...I'm kind of hungry!"

"All right! Hang on tight!" Ming Ming yelled above the sound of the waves and wind.

The leaf carpet suddenly gained speed, and flew back towards the direction of Shea's house. It went so fast the scenery below was just a blur to Shea's little eyes! He felt a little dizzy, and shut his eyes. Then, he felt everything becoming still, and heard Ming Ming saying, "You can step off now!"

It took Shea a while to recognise where he was. He was not used to seeing his backyard from a bug's point of view. Ming Ming took out his feather, and puffed at Shea's face. Shea felt his body stretching, and suddenly, he was his usual size again!

"Run along now!" said Ming Ming.

"Will I see you tomorrow!" asked Shea anxiously.

"Sure! I'll be here!" Ming Ming answered.

Shea remembered his manners and muttered, "Thanks for the fun today!"

Ming Ming smiled, and waved him along.

Shea waved back, and turned towards the door.

Little Shea's Backyard Adventures (4)

"Sheng!!!!!!!!!!" a little voice came from behind, and Shea felt something hit him on the back! After the thing slammed against his back, it slid onto the ground. It was Ming Ming, who was flung from the squirrel, and landed against Shea's back.

Shea laughed as he saw Ming Ming sprawled on the ground at his feet!
"Are you hurt?" Shea asked.

Ming Ming rubbed one hand over his head, and groaned, "That squirrel! Could have given me a warning! It was going too fast!"

Shea stooped down, and picked Ming Ming up. He dusted the leaves and grass off the little fairy, and held him in the palm of his hand, and brought him close to his face.

"What are you looking at? Is my face dirty?" Ming Ming asked.

"No," said Shea.

"Well, are you ready for some fun?" Ming Ming asked.

"Yes! Yes!" Shea answered eagerly!

"First! We need to make you smaller!" Ming Ming muttered, and took out a feather from his pocket, and continued, "Ready?"

Shea nodded his head eagerly, wondering what Ming Ming was going to do.

Ming Ming put the feather close to Shea's face, and blew a puff of air.

Shea felt a strange sensation flow through his body, and then, felt himself shrinking! Suddenly, he was not holding Ming Ming any more, but was standing face to face with the little fairy on the ground. He had become as tiny as Ming Ming! Shea felt excited, but a little nervous about Mommy missing him. Ming Ming guessed Shea's thoughts, and said, "Don't worry! We would only be gone a few seconds - to your mom anyway!"

Shea did not understand exactly what Ming Ming meant, but trusted the little fairy to take care of everything. Ming Ming grabbed a leaf from the ground, which was as big as the rug in the living room, to the down-sized Shea, and stepped onto it. He motioned to Shea to do the same thing. Shea hopped onto the leaf, and heard Ming Ming saying, "Hold on tight!"

The leaf jerked, and floated upwards, and up, and up, like an airplane! Shea sat down and held onto the sides of the leaf, and looked down at his yard in amazement! His house was getting smaller, and smaller, as the leaf soared higher, and higher, and further from his house! Shea saw Ming Ming's pigtail blowing in the wind, and felt his own hair flying backwards.

"Where are we going?" shouted Shea.

"Around," shouted back Ming Ming, "you'll see!"

Shea looked down, and felt a little queasy. His neighbors' houses were so tiny. The cars on the roads looked like ants! He saw some familiar buildings. He could recognise the grocery store to which his mom and dad always took him. It looked different from way up there. They drifted further, and Shea got really excited as they flew near the high school in the neighborhood. Shea's daddy worked there. As they flew over the tennis courts at the high school, Shea asked Ming Ming, "May we go closer to the ground, please?"

"Just a little closer," agreed Ming Ming, "but remember, we can't let the grown-ups see us!"

Shea's dad was a tennis coach at the high school, and Shea wanted to see if Daddy was out on the courts.
The leaf floated lower, and Shea saw some kids playing tennis on the courts. There! There was his dad on the courts with his players! Shea could hardly contain himself, and wanted to yell out loud so much! However, he knew better, and just waved to his daddy, even though he knew Daddy would not see him.

Little Shea's Backyard Adventures (3)

"Shhh...don't let your mom see me!" Ming Ming put his finger to his lips, and hissed.

Shea stepped in front of Ming Ming, and called back to his mom, "Mommy! I'll come in soon!"

Ming Ming was so tiny Shea's mom would not have noticed him anyway. She closed the door, and left Shea in the backyard.

"You don't want Mommy to see you?" asked Shea curiously.

"Grown-ups are funny. They don't believe in fairies!" Ming Ming explained.

"All right! You want to come in with me?" Shea invited Ming Ming. He did not want to leave Ming Ming alone in the yard. He might be hungry.

"No, I'll be all right. You go ahead! I'll be here when you come out to play tomorrow!" promised Ming Ming.

Shea was still a little worried about Ming Ming, "Are you sure? What are you going to eat? Where are you going to sleep?"

Ming Ming laughed, "Remember! I'm a backyard fairy. I live in the backyard! I also don't get hungry like you!"

Shea still looked a little worried. Ming Ming gave Shea's foot a push, and said, "Go on! See you tomorrow!"

Finally, Shea turned to go into the house. Suddenly, he remembered something, and turned back to Ming Ming, "Beware of the big black cat! He comes into our yard sometimes, and chase the squirrels!"

Ming Ming nodded his head, and waved Shea on.

It was time for Shea to go to bed. Shea's dad helped him brush his teeth. Then Shea sat on his daddy's lap in the rocking chair, while dad read him his bedtime stories. Dad read him a story about Tom Thumb.
"Is Tom Thumb a fairy, Daddy? He's tiny!" Shea asked.

"I don't think he was a fairy! Why? What do you know about fairies?" Daddy was curious to know how Shea knew about fairies.

"Nothing!" Shea remembered how Ming Ming did not want Mommy to know about him.

Daddy said a prayer with Shea, and lay him down on his bed. That night, Shea dreamt about sailing a ship on the sea with Ming Ming, going to faraway places where strange people lived. When he woke up, he could not wait to go out in the backyard to see if Ming Ming was still there, or if it was all just a dream.

While he was eating breakfast, he kept craning his neck to look out the window, to see if he could spot Ming Ming. The window by the dining table looked into the backyard. He could see his playground set, the swing, and his sand box, but he did not see Ming Ming. Of course, Ming Ming was so tiny! It would be hard to see him from the window!

Suddenly, he saw a squirrel running on the fence. On the back of the squirrel sat something! Shea was sure it was Ming Ming! He got all excited, and half rose from his chair. Mommy saw it, and asked Shea if anything was the matter. Shea sat back down, and tried to contain his excitement. His eyes followed the squirrel, as it ran across one of the cable lines. Ming Ming was holding on to the neck of the squirrel, and seemed to be having fun.

Shea gobbled down the rest of his breakfast! Mommy was surprised he finished his food so fast. He used to take a long time to finish his meals! Shea got down from his chair, and could hardly wait while his mom helped him wash his hands and face. He was halfway to the door, when he remembered to turn around and asked, "Mom! May I go play in the backyard?"
Mom was surprised Shea would want to go outside so soon after his breakfast. He usually played with his cars in the living room, while watching his favorite cartoon on TV. However, Mom was happy he wanted to go outdoors. The weather was fine, and the yard was drying up from the rain too.

"Go ahead!" Mom said.

Shea raced to let himself out, and looked around for Ming Ming eagerly.

Little Shea's Backyard Adventures (2)

Little Shea's nose almost touched the puddle, as he put his face near the little creature, to take a better look at him. He was wearing a funny, pointy hat on his head. He had tiny, almond-shaped eyes, which kind of looked like Shea's Mommy's eyes! His nose was flat and broad! As Shea was examining the creature, it began to speak again.

"Hey! I said thank you! Are you deaf?" it shouted.

"Oh! You're welcome!" said Shea hurriedly, remembering his manners.

"I'm a backyard fairy from the East!" the little creature continued.

"From the East? What's the East?" Shea asked innocently, having no concept of countries, or directions yet.

"From China - where the people speak Chinese!" the creature explained.

"Oh! Is it far, far away?" asked Shea.

"Well, kind of near Singapore, where your mother's from," the creature tried to speak in ways Shea could understand.

"Oh! I've been to Shanghai. Is that in China?" Shea asked hopefully.

"Bingo! You did inherit some Chinese intelligence! Ha! Ha!" laughed the creature.

"Is that funny?" Shea did not catch the joke, but was happy when others were happy.

"Well...never mind!" the creature said, "By the way, my name's Ming Ming!"

"Ming Ming? My name's Shea!" Shea was glad the creature had a simple name.

"Shea...don't you have a Chinese name? Your mom's Chinese you know!" Ming Ming said with a frown on his face.

"I do have one! It's Sheng!" Shea's Mom made sure he knew his Chinese name, and repetition finally made the name stick in Shea's little brain.

"That'll work! I'll call you Sheng!" Ming Ming seemed satisfied.

"What are you doing in my backyard, Ming Ming?" Shea was curious to know.

Ming Ming took off his hat, revealing black hair done in a pigtail underneath, "I'm sent here to be your backyard pal!"

Shea's face lighted up, "You mean you're going to be my play-mate?"

"Pretty much! Or to keep you out of trouble!" Ming Ming smiled.

Shea could not contain his joy. He stood up, and jumped up and down with glee, causing water to splash all over Ming Ming!

"Watch it! Big guy!" Ming Ming scolded, drenched in puddle water Shea splashed on him.

"Shea! Time to wash up, and come in for supper!" Shea's mom popped her head out the backyard, and called.

Little Shea's Backyard Adventures (1)

Shea felt bored. It had been raining all morning. He wanted to go outdoors! He was not tall enough to look out the windows, so mom put a stool by one of the windows, and Shea had been standing on it, watching the rain pouring down in his backyard.

He was two years old, going on three in a couple of months. Thunder still scared him a little. He would scramble down the stool quickly, when he saw a flash of lightning, and buried his face in the pillows on the couch, till the thunder had subsided.

The rain finally stopped! Shea looked at the puddles in the backyard longingly.
"Mom! May I go out in the backyard and step on the puddles?" he asked.
"Only if you put on your galoshes!" Mom answered.
Shea ran to fetch his galoshes happily, and brought them to mom, who helped him put them on. It was still too hard for Shea to put his shoes on himself. Sometimes he would try, but sometimes when he was in a hurry, he preferred Mom to help him.

There were lots of puddles in the backyard. Shea loved the splashy sounds he made when he stomped on the puddles with his galoshes. Suddenly, his foot stopped in mid-stomp! He thought he heard a sound! However, he decided he might have imagined it. He was about to complete his stomp, when he heard the sound again! It sounded like a small voice. There it was again! Shea was not good at standing on one foot for too long. He moved his foot, and stood both feet in the grass, away from the puddle.
"Hey you! Thanks for moving that big foot!" the voice seemed to be saying.
Shea squatted down on the grass, and peered at the place in the puddle from where the voice seemed to be coming. There was a creature standing in the puddle, where Shea's foot would have been, if he had not moved it!

Shea's eyes nearly popped out of his little head! He saw a tiny person looking back at him! The little man was no bigger than Shea's thumb. Shea was afraid of bugs. He did not like mosquitoes because they bit, and left itchy welts on him. He did not like other bugs because they moved fast, and had many legs! When Shea saw the little man, his first instinct was to run. However, his curiosity overcame his fear, and he remained staring at the little creature.
"You! I say, thank you for sparing my life!" it spoke again.

Tragedy in a Foreign Land (3)

He threw the letter down after reading it.

“Money! Money!” He muttered under his breath as he gulped down his beer in frustration. He opened his suitcase and took out another bottle. He took a few gulps, feeling it go right to his head, making him feel hot all over. What a miserable life! Here he was working hard in a foreign country to make his fortune, so that he could go home one day and provide his family a better life, and that was his wife’s way of showing her appreciation and encouragement! Send money! Send more money! Rajoo gulped down more of the beer as he thought of his youngest son lying in bed, waiting for death - or treatment – if Rajoo could send some money home.

Rajoo flung the empty beer bottle down onto his mattress. It rolled over to Siva’s mattress. Rajoo reached over for it, and saw something sticking out from under Siva’s mattress. He looked around to make sure nobody was in the room, and reached underneath the mattress and pulled out an envelope. Sitting with his back to the bedroom door so as to shield his actions, Rajoo opened the envelope slowly. Money! The envelope contained money!

“Hey! Give that back!” Rajoo felt a wet towel whacked across his back, and a naked Siva leaning over his shoulders to reach for the envelope in his hand.

“I need the money. Lend me the money!” Rajoo held the envelope out of Siva’s reach.

“No! My hard-earned money! No cigarettes, no beer! All for my family!” Siva reached for the envelope desperately.

Rajoo held the envelop in his fist in a tight grip, as he turned to face Siva.
“My youngest boy is dying! I NEED the money!”

“No! You lazy bone! You would have money if you didn't spend it all on cigarettes and beer!” Siva was desperate and pounced on Rajoo.

Rajoo lost his balance and both men fell onto Rajoo’s mattress, with Siva on top of Rajoo. Siva tried to pin Rajoo down while one arm reached for the envelope in Rajoo’s hand. Siva was a big man. Rajoo felt out of breath, with Siva’s weight upon him. He tried to push Siva off with his free arm, while still extending the other arm above his head so that the envelope was out of Siva’s reach. Siva kept his weight on Rajoo, while at the same time frantically extending both arms towards the envelope. Rajoo felt himself gasping for breath. He waved his arms wildly, trying to push Siva off. His hand touched something! It was his beer bottle. He grabbed it by the neck, and brought it down on Siva’s head.

“Crash!” Fragments of the glass flew everywhere. Thick blood trickled slowly down from Siva’s head. It reached his eyes, which were opened wide with shock and disbelief. Rajoo pushed Siva off. Siva’s lifeless body fell onto his own mattress. Rajoo watched in horror as the circle of blood beneath Siva’s head grew larger and larger, slowing dyeing the dirty mattress red. Siva’s eyes remained open, staring vacantly at Rajoo. The air in the room hung thick with the odors of blood and sweat intermingled.

Escape

Linda walked into her office. She was posted to this London office a few weeks ago, and was heading the advertising department here. She had wanted to get away for a while anyway. Her relationship with her boyfriend was not going anywhere, and she was tired of putting her life on hold for a man she was not sure would ever grow up!

Her secretary walked in, and read Linda what she had to deal with for the day. Linda took a sip of her coffee, hoping the caffeine would perk her up a little.

Her 8 o’clock appointment showed up. The advertising department had just lost one of their copywriters. Linda had to get a replacement for the team. Candidate number one was all right. Good looking, but a little immature. Candidate number 2 was older, more mature, and seemed to be a good addition to the team. Candidate number 3 was weird! He was out!

Linda decided to pick candidate number 2. She felt relieved to have made a decision. She looked out the window and stretched herself. The thick London fog was making her depressed. She closed the blinds, and walked out of her office.

She had a meeting with her team before lunch. Great! Linda could not wait to see how the new photos had turned out. The last batch was disappointing! She wondered if the new jingle had been recorded. There was some delay due to power failure at the recording studio the last time. The translator was also late getting to the studio, and the Italian recording artiste and the English producer were using sign language, which did not quite aid their rapport with each other.

Linda’s mind was a buzz before she even entered the conference room. She certainly did not spend much time moping around – at least, not in the office!

Tragedy in a Foreign Land (2)

“Honk! Honk!”
“Ouch!” Rajoo squealed as his hammer fell from his hand and hit his left foot. His working boot was old and worn-out, providing little protection from the impact of the fallen hammer. Rajoo cursed himself for falling asleep. He also cursed the truck for startling him. Packing up his tools, he followed the others out of the almost-finished house, and limped towards the truck.

Rajoo lit a cigarette as the truck pulled out onto the road. He could feel the wind against his face, as he sat cramped at the back of the truck with the other workers.
“Hey! Spare me a cigarette!” Siva nudged him.
“Get your own!”
“Spare me a puff!” Siva pleaded.
“No!” Rajoo refused.
Siva’s face fell. Rajoo felt a little sorry for him. He decided to show Siva a little charity. When he exhaled the next time, he made sure to blow the smoke at Siva’s face. Siva closed his eyes, inhaling the smoke Rajoo had exhaled hungrily.

Pathetic! Rajoo thought. His friend was a fool. He would not spend a cent of what he earned. The fool sent his whole paycheck back to Bangladesh – to his wife and ten kids. Not Rajoo! He spent a large part of his pay on cigarettes and drinks. He felt pretty sacrificial for sending anything back at all to his wife and kids in Bangladesh. Anyway, his wife had a job and unlike Siva, he was not such a fool as to have ten kids. He had only five.

The truck finally reached the apartments where the workers lodged. Rajoo shared a two-bedroom apartment with five other guys, including Siva.
“Mail for you, Rajoo!”
Siva passed him a letter from Bangladesh. Rajoo’s wife was a good correspondent. She wrote regularly, updating him about all that was happening in Bangladesh. In almost every letter, she asked him to come home. Rajoo wrote whenever he felt he had not written in a long time. Whenever he did, he assured his wife he would come home once he had made his fortune. He chucked the letter, unopened onto his mattress. He wanted to get into the shower before the other guys.

Rajoo got out of the shower, with just a towel wrapped around his waist. With the smell of soap clinging to his freshly washed body, he felt stifled by the smell of sweat in the room. Siva was sitting on his mattress. When he saw Rajoo, he quickly hid something under his mattress, as if afraid Rajoo would see it. Pathetic fool! Rajoo thought as he sat down on his mattress, which was next to Siva’s. The workers slept on thin, old mattresses, which probably had been used by numerous “pioneers” before them. Brown stains covered all the mattresses. Rajoo unlocked his suitcase which he kept at the head of his mattress, and took out a bottle of beer. This was his favorite part of the day. He took a sip of the beer. Heavenly! A well deserved luxury after a hard day’s work. Slowly, he opened the letter from his wife.

Tragedy in a Foreign Land (1)

"Pass me the hammer! Hey! I say, pass me THAT hammer!"

Rajoo awoke from his day-dream with a start! Irritated and yawning widely, he bent down slowly, picked up the hammer at his feet, shuffled over to Siva, who was working at the other part of the house, and handed him the hammer. Dragging his feet, Rajoo turned back to continue the work where he had left off, before he lost himself in his day-dream.

He was about to lift his hammer to drive in a nail when he got distracted by an ant crawling up his shirt. He watched it make its way slowly from the bottom-last to the top-most button of his shirt. Then, he reached out his hand and squeezed it dead between his thumb and finger. He held his thumb and finger slightly apart to check if the ant was dead. He watched its mutilated lifeless body just long enough to be satisfied that it was not moving. Ha! The foolish creature thought it was going to make it! Feeling pleased with himself, Rajoo wiped the dead ant onto his pants and took up his hammer again.

"Knock! Knock! Knock!" The monotonous knocking sounded like a lullaby to Rajoo. He looked around at the other guys busy at work. With these guys working so hard, there was no fear the house could not be finished on time. His boss would have no excuse delaying payment for his hard labor then. With that happy thought, Rajoo decided it was time for an 'energy-booster’.

He walked behind one of the pillars and lit a cigarette. Wiping the sweat from his forehead with the back of his hand, he felt proud of himself. He was certainly one who knew hard labor. After the puff, he felt rejuvenated. He definitely deserved that little break. This was hard work. He walked back to his spot and picked up his hammer and a nail. He could feel the heat of the sun on his back.

“Knock! Knock! Knock!” The other guys were still hard at work. When Rajoo caught sight of the big heap of nails on the floor, what little amount of energy he had gained from the smoke vanished. Then a thought hit him! Why not spread the nails further apart when he hammered them in, so that he would have less hammering to do? Cheered up, Rajoo took up his hammer again. Before his hammer reached the nail, his eyes caught sight of a trail of ants making its way along one of the ledges. His eyes followed the ants.

Floating

Read this short story written by hifidel!

I Survived! (Part 2)

“What? They tried to get rid of me?” I stared at my big brother in disbelief!

“What…how….do you mean?” I managed to stammer, as I felt my insides crumbling.

“Yes, they tried to get rid of you,” repeated my big brother, with an evil smile hovering at the corners of his lips, “they didn’t want you!”

I felt faint. A thousand thoughts crowded my head. No, big brother must be kidding, he was just trying to hurt me, I told myself. Calm down now. I took a deep breath and sat down on a chair. I put my hands under my sweating thighs to stop them from shaking. Yes, I was almost sure he was pulling my leg. He was just jealous I was mom and dad’s favorite. He was trying to bully me, as he always did, when my parents were not around. I said mom and dad loved me most because I was the youngest, and he could not swallow the truth.

“You’re lying!” I found my voice as my confidence returned.

“If you don’t believe, ask big sister!” my brother answered with a sneer, as he pointed one evil finger at my sister.

My sister, who was listening to our conversation all the while with a worried expression on her face, looked at my big brother reproachfully.
“Why did you have to do that?” she asked.

“Ha! Ha! Coz’ it’s fun!” My big brother turned to look at me, as if making sure my eyes were welling up with tears, before he turned and walked out of the room – whistling.

“Is it true? Mom and dad didn’t want me?” I got up and went towards my sister, tugging at one of her hands. She never lied to me. She wasn’t evil, like big brother was.

“Hmm…it…it wasn’t like what big brother said. Mom and dad couldn’t afford to have another kid and…”

Big, hot tears gushed from my eyes. It was true! Mom and dad did not want me. I did not wait for my sister to finish her sentence. I rushed from the room and locked myself in the bathroom. I pulled every towel from the racks and threw them on the floor. I could feel anger rising from my feet right up to my chest. It got stuck there, pressing upon my heart. How could I have mistaken that my parents loved me? They did not love me! They did not want me. They wanted big brother (nasty as he was), big sister, second brother, and second sister, but they did not want me! I stamped my feet on the towels strewn upon the floor.

“Hypocrites! Hypocrites! Stinking hypocrites!” I screamed at the top of my voice, each scream accompanied by a stamp of my feet.

I could hear big sister hollering at me outside the bathroom door. Of course she could play the angel, I thought to myself. She was a ‘wanted’ child! Fresh, hot tears streamed down my cheeks. So evil! My parents were evil beings! I stared at my crumpled-up, pitiful face in the mirror as a thought crossed my mind. I would kill myself! I would kill myself so that my parents’ wish could be fulfilled. Yes, I wanted them to feel guilty for the rest of their lives! The murderers!

“Moi!” my mom’s voice penetrated the bathroom door, and also my thoughts.

“You evil murderer! You don’t want me!” I screamed hysterically through the door.

“Go away! You murderer! I’ll kill myself for you and dad. Then you, dad, big brother, big sister, second brother and second sister can live happily ever after!” I watched my face contort into ugly expressions, as I yelled my lungs out.

“Come out! NOW!” my mom smacked on the bathroom door and commanded. I stopped screaming. Somehow, my mom’s stern voice could still chill the ten-year-old me into obedience, angry and insane as I was then. I unlocked the bathroom door, rushed past my mom without looking at her, and walked into the kitchen. My mom dragged her tired body after me, and sat down beside me. I refused to look at her.

I chose to focus my eyes on my mom’s hands instead. They were still wearing the gloves she wore to the lumber factory everyday. The gloves were supposed to protect her hands from the splinters that came off the pieces of wood she had to carry and stack. Sharp splinters were sticking all over the gloves.

“We had no money…no jobs. We didn’t want you to suffer….” my mom’s voice went on gently - explaining.

I continued staring at those splinters. They grew bigger and bigger till they filled my whole vision. My mom’s voice became a buzzing in the background as my thoughts wandered…

I saw my mom walking in the door. She just came home from work. She smelled like wood. She pulled her gloves off and there they were! The stubborn splinters that managed to escape through the knitted gloves and pierce into my mom’s skin. She just plucked the splinters out one by one, not paying attention to the tiny dots of dried blood left on her skin, where the splinters had pierced. She went on to wash out the container in which she used to bring lunch to work. Rice soaked in hot water with a few drops of soy sauce stirred in, or rice mixed with a few drops of cooking oil, made up my mom’s lunch menu.

Then, my mom appeared at the kitchen table, cutting an apple into five pieces. She watched and smiled as my siblings and I devoured our own piece without a second thought. When we looked at her for more, she gave us an apologetic look. “Next week,” she said. I always wondered why my mom’s tummy made so much noise. I did not know those were the voices of hunger, which were left unanswered, while ours got answered.

My mom appeared again, this time begging my dad’s sister to lend her fifty dollars. Big brother and big sister needed school supplies.

She was sitting by the lamp now, in her patched and re-patched clothes, sewing new clothes for me. My siblings and I always had new clothes for Chinese New Year. Not my mom, nor my dad.

Suddenly, my dad appeared. He was coming home in the dead of night, hands blackened with oil from the machinery he was operating the whole day, eyes bloodshot from lack of sleep because he had taken on more shifts than the ordinary worker.

My mom’s voice became louder, and interrupted the images in my mind. “We do love you! It was wrong of us to think of not wanting you, but we didn’t know better...”

I realized I was still staring at the splinters sticking to my mom’s gloves. They were regular-sized splinters again, instead of dark blobs of brown. Tears welled up in my eyes. How did I dare judge my parents? I reached out and pulled the gloves off my mom’s hands. There they were - the splinters sticking from their little dotted wells of dried blood. I felt the splinters pierce my heart. My tears fell onto my mom’s hands.

“Moi, do you understand?” my mom was asking.

I wanted to stay angry and dwell on the fact that my parents did not want me. I could not. I felt ashamed for doubting their love for me. They might not have wanted me to join my siblings in a life of poverty. However, I stubbornly survived and came into their lives. My parents kept nothing from me. They did not treat me like a burden. Whatever they could scrape together, my siblings and I shared equally. Who was I to judge them – victims of an ignorant era? Having a load of kids and living in poverty was the norm during that time. I nodded my head, too choked with emotions to say anything.

“Good,” my mom patted my head, picked out the splinters from her hands, put on her apron and started to prepare dinner.

I survived! (Part 1)

Parents are funny beings. They are there from the time
you are born. They get to choose to have you. You don't
get to choose them.

My parents didn't want to have me.
"Too poor," they said. My mother took a potion the
doctor prescribed her which was supposed to do the work
of getting rid of me. Apparently, she was tricked. The
doctor thought I was too old to be aborted. My mother
threw up after taking the potion. I survived! I was
added to my parents' existing brood of four.

I was hungry. My tummy hurt. I opened my mouth and
yelled. Where were my parents? Weren't they supposed to
feed me? I know I said they didn't want me, but I wasn't
supposed to know that till I was older! A hand came over
my mouth, "Shh....". What was that supposed to mean?
Then I heard loud banging from the room next door. Our
neighbor obviously didn't like my yelling. My dad
shouted something in answer to the banging. I licked the
hand covering my mouth. Salty, but it wasn't what I
wanted. Milk! I wanted milk!

Something was stuck into my mouth eventually. I didn't
care what, but sucked on it ravenously. Ah! Milk at
last. My parents talked in hushed tones as I ate
contentedly. I caught words here and there, "...borrow
money from auntie Gu...a job opening at the lumber
factory.....". Of course, I didn't understand a word of
what was spoken then.

Through A Damaged Mind's Eye

Oh no! The war was still going on! Bombs! Bombs rolling everywhere! Ah Tok watched in horror as bombs the size of cannon balls rolled down different lanes at great speed. He put his hands over his ears, lay flat on his tummy, and waited for the earth-shaking explosions to occur. His eyes were glued to the bombs flying down the lanes. He figured he might as well witness the sight of the blasts since he was going to die anyway.There was a loud “bang” as one bomb hit a few bottles lying in its path. However, strangely, the bomb did not explode into flames. The white bottles were all knocked down, but they were not broken.
Ah Tok was startled by loud cheering coming from a group of people who was pointing to a screen like that of a radarscope. There were little X’s all over the screen. These must be soldiers checking the location of their targets. Ah Tok looked around bewildered. These soldiers were all over the place, throwing bombs down different lanes. There were sounds of explosions all over. Ah Tok’s eyes darted from lane to lane as he kept his hands over his ears. This must be the end of the world!
When Ah Tok found himself still alive and in one piece, as bomb after bomb was being thrown down the lanes, he began to notice that all the targets of the bombs were just white bottles. These soldiers must be fighting a different kind of war. When the targets were all knocked down, the soldiers seemed to be very pleased and got slapped on the backs by their comrades. Ah Tok also observed that supplies of the bombs were arranged neatly on racks all over the place. The bombs seemed to come in different colors too.
Ah Tok had never seen soldiers handling bombs like the way these soldiers were doing. He remembered seeing bombs dropped from the sky and devastating a few villages at one time. These soldiers however, got into a funny stance when they rolled their bombs down the lanes. They did not even care to take cover. Ah Tok noticed another strange thing. The targets could never be destroyed. Those that were knocked down were replaced by new ones that looked exactly like them.
This must be some crazy new warfare. Whatever it was, Ah Tok did not want to be part of it. His whole village went up in flames when bombs like those the soldiers were rolling down the lanes dropped from the sky. His family perished with the villages that were destroyed that fateful day. He was fighting deep in the woods then and escaped death. No, no more bombs! Ah Tok rushed out of the bowling alley, with his hands over his ears and tears flowing down his cheeks.

Memories...

Bao-er lifted her eyes as she was introduced to the new missionary. She had heard a lot about her. She did not understand why the congregation needed a young lady missionary. What could she do? Her eyes asked the question as she greeted Shooby - the new missionary.

Was there a mistake? Shooby was supposed to be a girl of twenty. This woman shaking Bao-er's hand had a head of shoulder-length-almost-all-white hair! Bao-er uttered her greetings shyly, quickly found a seat, and pretended to be occupied. She spoke English, but felt uncomfortable around "angmohs" (red-hair = Caucasians). Shooby took a seat close to Bao-er, and started fanning herself, not used to the oppressive equatorial heat. Bao-er felt threatened by the proximity of Shooby. A brilliant idea came to her mind. "Hey!" Bao-er addressed Shooby, "Why don't you move nearer to the fan up front?" When it came to putting a distance between Shooby and herself, Bao-er could summon enough courage to speak to Shooby. Shooby turned and said, "I'm O.K.!"

At that moment, Bao-er saw in Shooby, a girl as shy, and as uncomfortable as herself. Bao-er chided herself for thinking only of her own comfort.